Attended diplomatic protocol training this weekend, and got the low-down on comportment at formal occasions. Thanks to Mom and Dad, this was but a refresher course for me.

“Sir, one generally uses that fork for hot pockets, not tater tots.”

And, having sat at my mother-in-law’s dining table all these years, the army of forks didn’t faze me. Hats off, Tiny!

In the land of formal entertaining at the diplomatic level, “informal” means my best dark suit. Does anyone remember the movie “Protocol” starring Goldie Hawn? She showed up at the embassy’s 4th of July informal garden party wearing cutoffs and flip flops and carrying a lawn chair and boom box. Oh, patron saint of protocol, spare thine humble servants from these and all career-limiting moves.