BRASILMERICA

Tom’s business cards arrived last week. He was delighted to get them, especially when he saw the address. Apparently, he is in charge of Brasilmerica.

President Thomas John Hanson and First Lady Ann Aubrey Hanson of Brasilmerica. They both have a certain cachet, don’t they?

We’re not certain where exactly our nation is, but we’re tending along temperate latitudes. We like the lifestyle and the climate. As to square-footage and population, we’re currently conducting a census. Details will follow some day. Don’t hold your breath.

But, meanwhile, we’ve discussed a flag. So far, it involves a rooster and a pineapple: proud, annoying, and full of hospitality. That fits us, right?

We’ve discussed our foreign policy, and think travel to our country is likely to be a pay-as-you-go sort of thing. Visa payment will be accepted in the form of wine or other luxury goods. You want to visit? Welcome. Now, where’s the bottle?

We’ve discussed the need for ministers and other leadership. So far, Cricket and Sydney (being here, they were the first ones appointed) are twin Ministers of Hospitality, barking our welcome anthem (see below) whenever we have visitors. (This has been infrequent, thus far, so they’ve had time to hone their skills before actually greeting our guests.)

“Braslimerica Forever” (sung to the tune of “My Country Tis of Thee”)

My country’s here for you,

All yours just for a brew,

Welcome and stay.

We’re a democracy,

But we accept a fee,

Of libations duty-free,

Brasilmerica.

We have named Aubrey our Minister of Culture and Awesomeness (museums, concerts, races–we’re hoping to have a Formula 500 track here soon), and Scott is our Minister of the Interior and Coolness (roads, city planning, festivals, etc.). We still have numerous openings, so if you are interested, let us know. We’ll consider all suggestions, though we reserve the right of veto. (Ahem)

And because we are a nascent nation, we welcome all monetary donations for culture, infrastructure, and outreach. (There is one caveat: if we do not get the funding we need, we might need to pull a “Duchy of Grand Fenwick” scheme, a la Leonard Wibberley’s The Mouse That Roared. Just sayin’…)

So, welcome to Brasilmerica! Come visit soon. We’d love to see you!