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We limit our viewing of telenovelas here in Brazil. I know it’s a way to learn Portuguese, and is a great conversation opener with Brazilians I meet in elevators or at parties, but we just can’t do it daily. Telenovelas are all the rage here, but we don’t follow the stories.

That’s not to say we don’t enjoy telenovelas, but I suspect we enjoy them for the wrong reason. You see, we’ve created a drinking game for while we watch. We hadn’t planned it; it just happened. Here’s how the game works:

Every time a man cries, we take a drink.

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Every time. (And it happens a lot.)

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Every time we see a woman who looks like a man in drag, we take a drink. (This, too, happens a lot).

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Every time we see an old hag with a young stud-muffin, we take a drink. (This doesn’t happen that often, but it’s cringe-worthy when it does.)

[[photo withheld out of compassion.]]

Every time there is a girl fight, we take a drink. (Love those girl fights!)

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Every time a dude loses his man card (due to crying jags and sniveling…you get the gist), we take a drink.

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It’s a fun game, but you can understand why we have to limit our telenovela intake. At least until we begin watching for the storyline, and not the drinkable moments!