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26 hours, 46 minutes to download a 45-minute show…

We need to upgrade our Internet. We currently pay for 10MB, but get an average of about 5MB during the day, about 2.5MB at night. NET (the provider here in Sao Paulo) no longer offer the 20MB, so now we’re upgrading to 30MB. They’ll guarantee that we’ll get half of that.

And that’s if it’s not raining (or drizzling). If it’s wet outside, all bets are off. With above-ground lines, things short out instantly.

Needing more firepower, we called to make an appointment (never an easy thing to do, given that you reach a call center that sounds like cattle milling in the abattoir). But we got an appointment: Tuesday, between noon and 7 pm. By 10 pm, they had not arrived, so we figured we were out of luck. Tom called the next day, and without apologies, they rescheduled for Friday, between 8 am and 3 pm. By 3:30, they hadn’t arrived, so Tom’s secretary called (she loves the chance to bite her teeth into NET).

Again, without apologies or explanation, they scheduled Saturday, from 8 am until noon. At 10:30, we get a call from the porteiros (porters) at the front gate. The NET fella is here (they knew we’d been waiting), but he has no tools and no apparatus.

We said send him up anyway, we want to talk to him. I’ve waited in the house for him for 17 hours. I want some answers.

So Daniel comes up, empty-handed, and says there are no more 30MB modems. None. Nada. Doesn’t know when they’ll get more, and they only get about 50 at a time, and there are hundreds of technicians jockeying for them every delivery.

The gist? Well, we just keep calling and making an appointment, and one day we’ll likely get one. Or not.

bananas

 

“YES, WE HAVE NO BANANAS!”

Meanwhile, NET continues their promotion of the 30MB service, and we can’t watch TV on the Internet ’cause we’re only pulling 2.5MB or so at night, while others in the building are getting 15MB.

Welcome to Brazil!