ribs

Last week, Scott and I were bemoaning a lack of good Mexican food (him in San Francisco, and me here). After our moan-fest, I declared that Tom and I would go to Applebee’s for Mexican food that night. When he teased me about Appleby’s being the best Mexican food option here, I realized how far I’d sunk!

Well, we went to Applebee’s, but didn’t get Mexican. Instead, we gave in to the temptation to have American barbecue, with “All You Can Eat Ribs.” We hadn’t eaten all day, so we were set for a couple of good rounds. However, there’s a reason it’s called “All You Can Eat” and not “Endless,” at least here in Sao Paulo.

Our first serving was six ribs. A decent amount for pork ribs. These were served with french fries and corn on the cob. A tiny cob skewered on bamboo.

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Those went down easily, so we ordered another round. These took 20 minutes to arrive, and came alone. Three scrawny little baby ribs. Well, those were quickly devoured and we ordered more.

After another 20 minutes, we realized that they weren’t cooking them until we ordered them! Aha! “All You Can Eat” actually means all that you have the patience to wait for. The third round was three more castoffs from the ribcage.

We finally gave up, having eaten 9 ribs each. There was a 9-rib option, but they wouldn’t let us pay that. We had to pay the slightly more expensive “All You Can Eat” price. Bah, never again!

I know, I know, what am I bellyaching about … living here in the land of the awesome churrascarias, where you can eat your fill of any meat or sausage or chicken breast on offer?

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And these delights are brought to you without your asking, by good-looking guys wielding incredibly sharp knives, who slice the meat right onto your plate, until you cry, “Uncle,” and turn over your individual marker from Green to Red (Stop!).

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Not to mention the incredible “salad” bars that are “all you can eat,” which feature salads and veggies of all kinds, sushi, pasta, cheeses and olives galore, boiled eggs from several species, and breads, breads, breads!

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There’s a reason I’ve only been to two of these in two years. I’m simply not up to doing justice to such a feast more often. But, silly us, going to Applebee’s when we were hungry for protein! Well, let’s just call it a brain spasm and forget it ever happened.

Now, as for dinner this weekend….